26 March – 28 April 2011

Brighton
Get everything, Coffee, Baguette & patisserie from the ‘Real Patisserie’ get the £10, Super off Peak day return (the ticket they never tell you about) with First connect, off at London bridge and look for the Blue fence

Cromer Norfolk
Well worth walking to Norwich to get the train, leave early in the morning, it takes about 9 hours, lots of hedgerow fruit and nuts to keep you going, great stall at Marsham selling strawberries or Asparagus, unfortunately its too early for all that, if you’re lucky you might get a chance to see our boys flying off to Libya from RAF Coltishall. All City mainline train stations in the UK have an M&S, Norwich has a Co –Op, good choice of Flapjack and always loads of reduced food, buy ticket in advance £8 one way, get off at Liverpool street, walk to London bridge, (20min) the deafening noise of traffic and construction work will make a nice contrast to your earlier walk. Go down Borough High Street, find Union St, look for a metal gate into a huge play area, exit at opposite gate go to small panel in Blue fence

Elephant & castle SE1
Do use a Bike. Do not cycle once you have accessed the courtyard in Union St. Do use the Bike Park on the right. Do not attach cycle to Blue fence. Do not think too much.

Hackney E9
48 bus to London bridge, walk past Borough, right into Southwark street, great tool shop on the left, take a left into Redcross Way past the colourful gate of the Cross Bones Cemetery, turn left onto Union St, opposite Angel Human Resources is a metal gate into a huge courtyard, go out the other gate, and you will see the Blue fence

Lavender Hill SW11
Walk down to Clapham Junction; jump on train to London Bridge, it’s fast quick and cheap. At London Bridge follow instructions as from Paris

Leeds
From Leeds, definitely get the train, as walking or driving is horrible. At the train station it might be worth putting your destination ‘London’ on your Smartphone, as it’s likely they won’t understand anything you’re saying, and you’ll end up missing the train. Definitely get your grub for the journey from M&S, avoid anything fried at all costs. It’s usually cooked in Lard (Animal Fat) Once at Kings Cross, jump on the Northern line, southbound, get off at borough, try going up the stairs, this will help to get all that fat out your body. Out the station turn left down Borough High St, left at Union St, opposite Price Waterhouse & Coopers, is a metal gate, go through it up the ramp find the other gate. Exit to Blue fence

Leytonstone E11
Don’t bother rushing, go and pick mushrooms on the common and just turn up when you feel like it, no directions needed. Just concentrate on a Blue fence.

Long lane SE1
Get a cab (£5) ask to be dropped in Union St, look for the metal gate, walk through courtyard, out the other end and there is the blue fence

Port Louis – Mauritius
If you must fly (12hrs) use Air Mauritius, they leave on time and the food is better, the natives always fuel BA as they feel like it and baggage is sluggish. Air France is a no no, unless you want to travel with Battery farm monkeys heading for Animal testing labs in Europe & the US. Get the bus from Port Louis (6hrs), buy loads of wet peanuts for the journey and carry a stout knife as you will be going to some very obscure places, try to avoid tasting local smokes or brews or you might wake up, naked on a beach with a sore foot.

Or

Get a boat to South Africa (3 Days Max), about £50, just hang around the docks or the local bars, something always turns up and then get various trains to Egypt via Mozambique Zanzibar, Tanzania, Kenya, Ethiopia, and Sudan, try not to eat in Zanzibar the rice is awful and don’t bunk the fare in Mozambique they will cut your legs off, pick up your Ethiopian visa in Kenya (£10) From Egypt get a passenger cargo to Southampton, around 76 – 79 quid Once in the UK you can always walk to London, if you don’t stop it will take 26 hours & 17 minutes otherwise a couple of days , sort out the directions on your sat nav phone head to Borough High St, turn into Union street, and about 300yrds on the left is a one way sign, go through the metal gate into beautiful open concrete space, through the gates at the other end and go to the single panel in the blue fence.

Place de la Concorde – Paris
Euro star, don’t be tempted to change at Ashford; you will only get the train back to Paris. Bring as much food as you can for your stay in London. From St Pancras, follow underground signs get Northern Line southbound to London Bridge. Then ask anybody for the Blue fence, everyone knows it.

Sao Paolo – Brazil
Fly- Black Cab from Heathrow, for directions to Blue fence, see website www.arthousefoundation.org

St James Street E17
This is the non-event part of Walthamstow; absolutely nothing happens here, which is great. Use the over-ground rail station to get to Liverpool Street and then get a bus outside Tescos. At Borough go down Union Street, through the secret metal gate out the other side, to the Blue fence

St Johns Wood NW8
This is a really nice journey; pick up a Salt beef sandwich at Panzers. Walk across Regents Park; try not to throw up as you pass the animal prison. At Great Portland street, head for Oxford St, pop into Muji for more things that you don’t need, walk east in a straight line till you get to St Pauls, cross the millennium bridge, walk down the Bankside jetty, stairs up to Southwark Bridge Rd, left onto Union Street, further down on the right hand side, go through the tall metal gate. Go out the other gate to the Blue fence.

St Peters Sq W6
From the square, take the underpass that will lead to Black lion Lane, this will bring you out to Chiswick Mall, carry on walking along the upper Mall and stop at the Old Ship for the perfect pint of HSB, follow the river to Hammersmith Bridge, there are 3 Blue boats owned by Stan, for a tenner he will take you to Bankside Pier, he is not insured so you travel at your own risk. Pop into Tate modern ask them for directions to the Blue fence

Swiss Cottage NW3
It’s worth walking down to Waitrose, to get some juice and fruit, take 13 bus from stop K to Aldwych (57min) Walk to Aldwych South Side stop S (2min), take bus RV1 to London Bridge (28min), then follow same instructions as Hackney.

Courtyard Opening Times in Union Street